LOVE Yourself: Teri Taylor

You know those people that you feel SO inspired and energized after a conversation?  I’m currently obsessed with surrounding myself with people that meet this description.  Teri Taylor is just that beautiful soul that I can never get enough time with because I value every minute that I have in her presence.  She’s incredibly interesting, sharp as a tack, so fun!, fearless, approachable, a woman of many talents, and someone that just calls it like it is.

I met Teri many years ago through EO (Entrepreneurs Organization) when our husbands served on the board together.  I was instantly impressed by Teri’s professional background that ranges from the car industry, building an indoor rowing group fitness program and now she has her own luxury travel agency, Taylor Bespoke Travel.  We have developed a friendship over the years that I’m grateful for. 

I adore Teri and really appreciate her honesty and mindset on what it means to LOVE Yourself. 

What does LOVE yourself mean to you?

Like loving others, you have to love all the good about yourself as well as all the parts that could use a little improvement. It's easy to love the easy things about yourself, and takes a bit more work to love the not so perfect parts... But the best reward is when you make improvements in the areas that are not so perfect. Being honest with yourself about setting goals for the things in your life that need support and having grace with yourself when you sometimes fall a bit short of those goals. That's true self love to me. I've been a marathoner for most of my life, up until recently. And I never knew deeper love for myself than when I crossed that first marathon finish line. Training for my first wasn't always pretty, I had lots of set-backs along the way, but I kept at it, step by step, and made it across that finish line. And I've just kept crossing that finish line ever since, both in races, and in other parts of my life that I've decided to change. 

The other big part of loving myself is being able to be really honest with who I am, how I want to present myself, what I value, and what I'm good at and never trying to fit into someone else's idea of what my life should look/be/feel like.

Did you have someone that exuded a positive body image for you growing up? A family member, friend, mentor, etc.

Growing up in Texas in the 80's and 90's meant that I was expected to be skinny, blonde and nice. Compliant even. And that was generally what I saw around me, growing up in a small, Texas town. And I am very lucky that all three of those things came naturally to me (thanks to good genes). As parents do, they always told me I was beautiful. But more importantly, my parents valued my strength of character and intellectual prowess just as much the way I looked. Of course I always wanted to be thinner or taller! Who didn't back then? But I knew I'd won the lottery with the way I looked, so I wanted to be smarter and stronger-willed and more determined to succeed than everyone else. And I'm forever grateful that my parents taught me to appreciate my genetic lottery and to value even more, my education and how I treated others.

Do you tear your body apart vocally? Do you praise your body vocally?

I don't think you'll find a single person in the world who doesn't, in the privacy of their own mirror, look at themselves and say, "I wish..." or "If only..." And I think that's perfectly healthy, as long as it doesn't become our sole focus. Who hasn't torn themselves down out loud when a dress you really love just doesn't suit your body the way it suits someone else's body? 

We're surrounded by images of supposed perfection, impossible standards and false expectations of complete self-acceptance which should supposedly lead to our ultimate happiness. With the ever-pervasive onslaught of social media, we're surrounded by the purveyors of total self-acceptance, no matter your size or appearance. We should be happy with everything we see in the mirror, shouldn't we? Shouldn't we?! There's something wrong with us, or we don't love ourselves enough, if we look in the mirror and see areas we'd like to change. But if all that is true, and self-love is complacency, then there would be no hair stylists, clothing stores, nail salons or estheticians left in the world. And while it's important to love who you are at the time, it's okay to look in the mirror and see areas you want to be different. 

And! It's equally important to look in the mirror and feel absolute gratitude for the body that moves you around this world, processing so many decisions in a day, that holds the heart that loves your family and contains the skin that allows you to feel the warmth of the sunlight on a bright summer day. 

Are you working to improve your mindset around body image or is it a neutral mindset for you?

Entering menopause has been humbling. Just as with puberty, my body is changing once again. And it's not necessarily in ways I appreciate or care for. I wouldn't say this is forcing me to have a different body image, but it's certainly changing the way I behave, by changing the way I exercise and eat. And the focus of my body image is very different now. What was important to me before menopause, how I looked, has taken a backseat to what's important to me now, my overall general health.

Do you have anyone that you are trying to a healthy example for?

I have two girls, both of which, like all teen girls, are focused greatly on their outward appearance. Try as they might to keep this in check, outside societal pressures can get the best of them, and they can get frustrated with their hair or their nails and how they look in certain clothes. I believe in my heart that Neandertal teenaged girls sat around the fire talking about how they wished their hair was straight and glossy just like one of the other teens at the campfire! And while I listen to my girls' complaints, I try to redirect their attention to one of their many amazing qualities (they both have enviable gorgeous, glossy brown hair!). And make sure they understand that how they look to their friends will be less remembered than how they make their friends feel.

My girls and I talked about my body changes after breast cancer, and how I'd always appreciated my body in the past for its strength and health. And, that I felt my body had betrayed me with cancer. But I'm now proud of how my body has healed so well from the intense surgery that I just put it through. So, despite my body betraying me, it's working hard to make me whole again. (And I've almost forgiven it for the cancer it grew).